30 Minute Nap Turned to 3 Hours

jump into bed now.
close your eyes for 5 seconds.
wake-up and slumber.

what you do to me...

how do you do it?
make this stoic man giddy with joy.
how can this be?
a smile creeps on my face and changes the tone.
what are you doing?
to make me fall in love with you.
where are we going?
cuz i see us going far.

Followed Through Semantics

The urge to continue:
a strength in determination.
a depth in perseverance.
a quiet resolve.
an unending hunger.

Ingredients for a spice in life.

Ingrained Journalism

in-depth coverage turned
to eye-witness accounts.
pens and pencils compliment the
pads of paper.
curious questions evolve
towards an investigative interview.
people become sources.
facts shift towards evidence.
truth becomes a reality
and vice versa.

Shhhh! Listen to the Night's Tale

Moonlight's glow brightens the path onward.
Vapored breath ascends upwards and outwards
as the night's chill shudders from the wolfen howl.
Deepened darkness blankets the surroundings
as only the moon and stars shine downwards.
Goosebumps, a sharp breeze, the wild imagination:
a growing fear rises and eats at the psyche.

BOO!

Thinking of You

a beat skips,
but the heart moves on hesitantly.
thoughts run by
and my memories hold.

i miss you.

our talks.
our innuendos.
our moments
our love.

'til next time.

Snapshot Memoirs

point and shoot:
ready, take aim,
focus....focus...focus...
flash: on or off?

zoom in: great portrait.
zoom out: phenomenal landscape.
adjust for light balance and brightness.

ready?
SNAP!

Candy Cravings on Halloween

delightful delectables
passed out during night time adventures.
sweet-tooth gone wild
as the young and old run rampant.
just one more treat.
just one more...
just one...
just...

Hiccups: A Natural Dilemma

hic-
...what the fuck is just happening...
-cup
...dammit, not this...

hic-
...of all the times to actually...
-cup
...get this, it's now...

hic-
...how am i supposed to write...
-cup
...my homework?...

Haloween's Pull

Super E:
costumed hero to bring euphoric powers
to the masses.

a mingle of abilities, which include:
manipulate light and shadows.
enhancing physical sensations.
instantaneous death.

wherever and whenever there's a party,
Super E will be there.

Autumn: The Sunny-Side

sunshine breaks through the clouds:
interplay on light and shadows.
-illuminated leaves displaying colors and the breath of life
-distorted shadows dance on the ground from tall trees


dancing leaves perform a two step from the light breeze.
the essences of a vibrant life:
movement and flow.

clouds come back and play a constant peek-a-boo
with the empowering sun.

breathe in and live.

4 Minutes: Darkened Image

19:27.
i am whatever the mind thinks i am.
deepened sadness distorts the imagery.
now, the image of me is a horror.
shadows. jagged lines.
fierce and unholy power.

and hunger.
ravishing hunger for...
...pain.

19:31

Lowered Expectations

Captured in the eyes.
The look of disgust and contempt.
I thought that I did well...
...but apparently, my thoughts don't match.

What else is there to do
when you studied hard
and pushed your cognitive abilities to an extreme?
What else...

Blow Past the Leaves

Swaying trees shake off their remaining colored leaves.
Falling slowly to their new home,
earth-toned foliage drift to the waiting ground.

The harsh wind continues its rhythmic torture.
A soft breeze here; the gentle push.
A gust of wind there; the harsh shove.

Bitter coldness nip upon exposed flesh.
Animals, of all sorts, scurry to find a shield
against this uncanny onslaught of invisible weapons.

Silence...
...'til the next decisive and preemptive breath of Jack Frost.
Slowly, the creep of the cold's dark shadow sneaks in.

Shift into Fall,
but transition into Winter.
Get ready.

Das Boot

2.5 beers goes in.
Structured yet challenging.
Tilt when ready.
Chug and flow.
Down the throat
and into the awaiting stomach.

Are you ready?

After the Test

euphoric disposition.
relaxation through each breath.
muscles s...l...o...w...l...y release their tension.
a calm washes over me.

a smile creeps on face.
the day can continue.

Test-Taking Ambiance

The clock starts now.

Jittery nerves match the pace of my outspoken heart.
A deep breath only sets me back a few beats.
The rhythm doesn't change:
bum-bum-bum-bum. bum bum-bum. bum bum...

My pen zigs and zags avoiding my control.
My answers turn to blurs of words as my eyes lose focus.
Sweat beads down my forehead.

Think, man, think.
You know this.
Just breathe and calm down.

Fill in the blank.
Multiple choice.
Short essay.
True/False
Essay.

Done.

Time to turn in.

Funny. Loud. Screechy. = The Wind of Time

REVERBERATING the pulse of life.
DISTRIBUTING the essence gained.
LIVING.

warmth amongst the masses
drawn upon the same energy,
the same life flow.

the ebb of time:
another chance to grow
and move on...

...to another day
as a new person,
a better self.

Reaching...

travel deep into the recesses of the mind.
look deep through the darkness,
past the memories of yester year,
and into the pit of emotion.

however dark,
however deep,
however distraught,
there is a glimmer.

a small beacon pulling
at the very core
of existence.

to live.
to love.
to learn.


all drawn upon the essence of...

huh?

Twerkin' the keys,
lettin' it flow.
Words just form,
but will I ever let go?

Inhale:
What the fuck am I doing?
Exhale:
Oh yeah, that.

Say No to the Cancer-Stick

dilapidated health,
blast area of smoke,
rampant illnesses,
a chain of unnecessary events.

My anti-smoking reasons.

most importantly,
people who look up to me.

Vs.

the surge of competition stirs within:
me vs. the self.
me vs. them.
me vs. the world.

i can do it.
becomes the mantra.
just watch.
becomes the chant.

pushing forward
despite the odds
only one
will be on top.

Sleep-Working

drooped eyelids,
adapting to a "forced" day
to keep on going.
pushing the very limits of
mental and physical capabilities.
just to finish.
just to go on.
just to be.

struggled drool drips down the chin
as i work towards
staying awake.
but...

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mindless Auto-Pilot

Press the brake.
Turn the key.
Shift.
Go.

Cruising down the street,
not a thought in my mind,
'cept time.
Have to get there soon....

Zippin' down I-5.
Passin' the slow and dumb
(don't talk on the cell-phone if you can't drive!).
Craftin' ways to get there.

Off this exit.
Down this road.
Up this street.
Park.

I'm here
without a thought in my mind.
'Cept one:
Did i make it?

If I Buy You A Drink...

gone drinkin'
the new catch phrase
amongst the:
thirsty.
college folk.
curious underage.
just-off-work crowd.

beers. liquors. wines.
choose your poison.

Clyde Weaver: The Amnesia of Tomorrow

Lost in The Moment:
forgetting the joys and tears of yesterday
and managing an unmanageable future.

A cornucopia of emotions:
-happiness with each second
-frustration with an unknown person, thought, idea
-sadness to a forgotten face
-excitement to a "new" face

breathing in life's adventures
starting each day anew
and hanging on to each word.

Faded memories from an eroded past
yet, life in each new day, each new beginning.

The Truth in Capital Letters

Into the darkness,
out of the light.
Wading into the abyss
of shattered dreams...

Anticipating the anguish
of an embittered battle within.
Novelty ideas escape the psyche
and flee.

Trouble follows
and it begins.
The tearing of flesh
and the wailing cries.

Onward, it goes
until the darkness engulfs all.
Despair comes with a vengeance,
as does pain.

Isolation:
an interlude to what is to come.
Eternity:
twisted reality.

Can I Really Make It?

Harsh wind blowing
and the rain pelting me
with the realization that
I really am alive.

The cold sting of Autumn's air
all around me.
Numbing the sensation of my fingertips
as I cling on...

...to each step forward.
Must keep going...

Check Your Local Listings

Prime Time Mondays.
8:00 - 11:00 pm PDT.
moments to unwind and relax
in front of the mind-numbing,
colorful box known to many as
a God-send...
...or in laymen's term,
television.

Chuck.
Heroes.
Journeyman.
NBC's Monday Lineup.

shows to capture the imagination and
enhance the questions of
"what if..."
or
"how can i..."

oh the wonders of the imagination...
...or television.

A Seattle Ruse

sunny skies, cold wind:
delightful yet tricky days.
an oxymoron.

Campus Hug

welcome back, welcome.
familiar faces, smiles, cheers.
great to be back here.

The Day Before...

jittery feelings:
nervous, anxious, happy, sad.
school starts, summer ends.

Dragging on Today's Whims

slow, breathy yawning
fatigue hitting all muscles,
will today end soon?

Almost to a Journey's End.

Dig deep and push it.
More power = the mantra thrives.
Feel the soul pulsate.

In the Still of the Night

long trip turned to night,
the wind picks up, the light fades...
stars twinkle; moon glows.

A Ghost of Me

I don't exist here.
I don't think that it matters.
I'm not important.

The World as a Hunting Ground

welcome to the world.
life: predator versus prey.
what role do you live?

New Age Martial Artists

Tradition. Honor.
= Values of Martial Artists.
No Longer Applies.

Nara Shikamaru's Ideal

Staring at the clouds,
avoiding troublesome things,
and being smart: life.

Beer: The Haiku

Golden, delicious
nectar of the gods fuels all
people who drink it.

An Ode to Full Metal Alchemist

Ready, Steady, Go!
Rewrite and Undo life's works.
Be Thou For People.

The Highs of Being Bi-Polar

boundless energy:
constant blur of rapid thoughts
and instant movements.

Dark Strength

Darker energy
runs through these veins and gives me
the power I seek.

The Truth About Summer

Sunshine, Hot Weather,
Clear Skies, Vibrancy of Life:
A Summer Meaning

Work Place Blues

nothing to do now
but wait for the end to come,
staring at the clock.

Hunger...

can you hear it now?
the rumbly in my tummy?
it says, "NEED FOOD NOW!"

Emptiness: Good or Bad?

running on empty,
yet still chugging along here.
will i ever stop?

Mindless Lifting

needed and wanted:
strong person to move randoms,
thinking not needed.

The Lows of Being Bi-Polar

mindless whirl of thoughts.
deepened sorrow; depression.
unending darkness.

Questioning Cuddling Clues

sleepless nights with her.
mind wracked with thoughts and questions.
body wanting more.

Bitter Teardrops

rejected tears fall
down the cheek and on the floor;
destroyed peace of mind.

F.U.B.A.R. At Work

fucked up beyond words.
two-and-a-half hours wasted.
pointless anger lost.

Lunar Eclipse

shadow of the moon:
vision of light and darkness
cast down upon us.

Monday Blues

work week begins now.
mindless hustle and bustle.
surrounded by drones.

Relief Within An Empty House

break through and scream out;
empty the inner turmoil
within your tired soul.

ROAR

frus-tra-ted an-ger.
slow seething turned to dull ache.
exhausted energy.

The Workout Philosophy

physicality:
muscles. over-all size. growth.
strength. agility.

SRA: Sugar-Rush Addiction

mouth watering sweets.
hot or cold sugary treats
i need a fix now.

A Summer Time-Out

darkened skies breach peace,
soft mist drifts lazily down,
and sunshine's day off.

Once Upon a Time...

reminiscing of days of lore.
when times were simple, fun, and playful.
a gradual warmth takes the body.

nostalgia.
faded memories.
surreal realism.

Blood Hunger

sweet indulgence lost
upon humanity.
the decadent life force flowing
through the veins...
...flows elsewhere.
trickling down the bare flesh
and dripping down into feeding mouths.
drop
by
drop.
feeding frenzy.

teNO-lojick

the system is down.
mid-scan and poof.
system reset.
all work is gone.

in the age of technological supremacy,
life coexists with the beeps and lights.
sometimes, completely assimilated...

...but when IT doesn't work?
things slow down
and work is put on pause.

are we THAT dependent?

Baseball: A Player's Inner Dialogue

standing tall;
eyes locked on the target.
sweat beading at the brow.
what do i do?

swing? what if i miss?
wait? what if it's over?
should i take the chance?

no time to think:
let my instincts take over
and guide me.
no worries.

here it comes...
...
CRACK!
there it goes.
the crowd shuffles and yells.

that's game.

A Winter Question

baby, its cold outside;
are you warm enough?

An Unexpected Truth

truth is never pretty.
it comes at us unexpectedly.
but in the end...
it's worth knowing
what we never knew before.

Thoughts of You

its late at night
and im wondering, thinking, wishing
about how you are.

i miss you.
i want you.
i love you.

staring at your page;
listening to your song,
i wonder why we are
the way we are.

you're amazing and beautiful.
smart and sophisticated
(even if you deny it)
talented and petite
yet other-wordly in thought and soul.

i should be in bed
dreaming of you, us.
but i sit here awake
looking at this space
and listening to your song.
smiling.

i wish i could hold you now.
hear your breath as you sleep.
feel your warmth against me.
feel your twitches and kicks as you dream.
but most importantly,
i want you.

happiness just from your stare.
depth from your thoughts.
life from your soul.
love from your heart.
what more can a guy ask for?

nothing really.
cuz im content with everything
ive seen.
ive felt.
ive heard.
ive tasted.
ive inhaled.

more importantly,
im proud of you and of us.
im content with you and with us.
im eager for what the future holds.

im happy.
im in love.
and right now,
im teary eyed as i smile;
thinking of you.

life is an adventure.
and
life is beautiful.

i love you

I'll See You There

lets disappear to our special place
a place only you and me know about
where we can play and cuddle
kiss and make love
baby, lets disappear to our special place
where we can lay on the grassy field
and look at the clouds above
imagining what each cloud looks like
and pretending to be kids
let's disappear to our special place
where the black sands of a hawaiian beach
are beneath our feet
walking hand in hand
and listening to the waves
as the sun sets
baby, lets disappear to our special place
where our bodies become one
our eyes locked
and the sound of soft sighs fill the air
lets disappear to our special place...

Pressing Pause on the Remote Control

Sitting.
Watching the world:
busy, seductive, destructive, fun, nostalgic...
and then there's me:
pensive, NRG-etic, x-lr8-ed, confused, lonely, happy, still, d-e-s-t-r-o-y-e-d...

Is it really worth the wait?
To see everything and everyone move around you
so free, so happy, and so driven.
And feel alone and that life is on pause...
Can you answer me if it's really worth the wait?

If i'm in the way, i can just move...
...it's what i do.
Jumbled up in my confusion,
i can still see and feel something pulling me -> forward...
but why?

as if my tears can answer for me,
i wait again
for the next pull
and watch my life...
...pass me by...

will you stop and help?
help:
-me feel alive again
-see the light from this murky illusion
i want to...

Hollow Man

It hits without warning
and strikes harder than a head-on collision...
That Darkness, the debilitating Darkness,
sweeps through your body
and takes hold.

Before anyone notices,
they're gone
while you're left alone with the Beast.

All is robbed of you during this time:
-your happiness replaced with a deepened sorrow
-your senses sifted out while all that reamins is a dull ache
-your feelings washed away and leaving behind forlorn hope...

A bitterness grows as the Demon feasts...
Devouring on what was once full,
you're left at square one...
a hollow shell of your former glory:
You are empty.

The Reality Around Me

I SCREAM my lungs out,
but the haunting echo rings out
into the loneliness that surrounds me.
Is this real?
Or is this some sick twisted dream?

Why can't I wake up...
the darkness engulfs me and...
...goes straight to my heart.
Cold, empty, frozen, shattered...
what's left of my heart anyways.

Desperately searching for a light,
I find myself lost in today's random torment.
Acidic tears blur my vision further
as I struggle just to see something to reach for...

and reaching is what I'm doing.
I can't feel anything;
everything has slipped through my grasp.
Here I am:
alone and torn.
Lost and confused.
Destroyed.

Why is it like this:
loneliness clinging to me...
...a throbbing heart beat...
...a crying soul?

It's just all to familiar to me.
This lingering pit of cold sadness and fear.
An open wound gushing out all of my life
to be never closed...

Even my memory is starting to fade.
Where am I?
Who is that?
What is that?
and more importantly,
who am I?

Darkness surrounds me.
Is there no light?

Faded Hopes

I feel like I'm fading...
Am I worth saving?
Can I fit into this mold

of this lifeless body?
When I feel so shoddy?
Everything just feels so cold.

Despite this illusion,
I'm stuck in this confusion
of where I want to go.

Can you still see me?
Am I still free
with nothing to show?

It's just not fair.
Why do you care
when things don't feel right?

Is there a tomorrow?
Despite my sorrow,
I'll stop with this fight.

Just let me be.
Please, forget about me.
I'll keep on trying,

but it's not the same
when you call out my name.
I can't stop crying...

They feel like mace;
these tears on my face.
Will they ever stop?

I love you so much.
Yet, it hurts me such
to see we aren't on top

of this game called life:
Reality's strife...
things just fall apart.

I'll never stop loving you.
I don't know what to do,
but you'll always have my heart.

Hold it with care.
I don't have another to spare.
Just watch me fade.

Call of Anger

Like it matters
that my reality shatters.
My life maybe torn,
but a new me is born.

Built up rage
is released from its cage;
destroyed sorrow, ripped happiness,
warped confusion, accepted craziness.

Arise, my Inner Demon,
and tear up this omen
that I cannot control.
Take over my soul!

This weird twist of fate
I cannot create.
There is nothing from my past
that I will let last.

I will walk with an unbroken stride.
Strong and stubborn with no one to confide.
Head up, fists high, feet ready.
Spirit broken, soul crushed, heart unsteady.

My journey begins now and ends tomorrow.
Nothing exists outside of that.

Together

you're dying inside
and i can see it in your eyes.

baby, dont...
dont hide those tears.
dont turn away.
just talk to me.
ill be here.
ill wipe those tears
and hold you close.
we can do whatever.
just dont...

you want so much.
yet, you dont know what to do.
theres confusion in you
and it kills me to see you this way.

just take a breath,
and we can take a small step together...

Dried Tears; Warm Embrace

Closed eyes; a body stopped
in a lake of tears.
Waiting. Wanting:
-answers. -completion.
-direction. -peace.
-happiness. -love.
Disheveled feelings and loneliness surround...

...but through all of this,
a warm embrace engulfs and ensures:
-safety.
-acceptance.
-truth.
An aura of light brightens the darkness;
a new era is here.

Heart beating with love;
Mind racing with ideas;
Body engulfed with energy;
Soul...
...reaching with hope.

The tears have stopped.
The lake is dry.
Eyes, once weary from crying,
are rejuvenated with new vitality.

Prayers answered:
"Life is never lonely.
Feel the warmth and
be brought to new light.

Feel love. Feel happy.
Feel strength. Feel wisdom.
All is not lost.
All is yours to use and to be you."

Life again, ahead.
All close to the fingers' touch.
All the world and the people...
Path is set. Is this go?

Yes...
...don't stop.

Tired Teardrops

Flowing stream from tired eyes-
travel down my face
and drip ever so slowly
-into my reality.

Blurring my vision,
I can no longer see the road ahead;
obstructed future, winding path.
Distraught hope and confusion.

I am lost in a world of teardrops.
I want to see,
yet I can't....
"Will someone help me?

Oh fallen tears!
Why doth thou flow?
Why can't you stop and
leaveth thine alone?

My eyes are tired
and I can't go on much longer..."
Cold and lonely hands
wipe the endless stream.

A poor soul waits for the sad river to run dry.
If...will it ever stop?...

Cleansing Love

Tears from heaven fall and wet the waiting ground.
The pitter-patter, pitter-patter of raindrops set the romantic tone.
Caught in the soft shower,
two people stand in an open field.

Hand in hand; eyes locked;
not a single word is spoken.
Washed away are their pains, their pasts.
All that remains are their happiness, their future.

Too much for words,
this moment is held in time:
a reminder-
-love is eternal.

Sealed is their fate:
a continuous love held true by both
and lived on as time passes.
...sealed with a kiss.

Embracing, smiling, happy.
The clouds melt and a warm sun shines them a new path...
direction to a future together.
Hand in hand, they venture forward...

...in love...
...and together.

Who am I?

I am, Erwin C_____ S_______, a person who fought for what was right:
honor, justice, friends, family...
I defended the weak from greater evils.
I was there for others when they needed help,
but who is there for me?
I engage in battle everyday against my greatest foe...
myself.
I confront what has hurt me for years:
depression, low self-esteem, loneliness, suicide...
I have turned to those that I have aided,
but they turn their backs on me.
I, yet again, ponder who is there for me?
I strove to achieve my personal best,
but I can see that my best isn't good enough.
I am capable of so much more
because my past has proven it.
I was a good student,
but now, who am I?
I fear that my evils are winning this war over me,
and I ask, again, who am I?
Am I still Erwin C_____ S_______?
No, because now...
I am nothing.

Motto

God will protect my soul.
Jesus will guide me.
Holy Spirit will join my heart and my mind.
I will protect my brothers and sisters.

Definition

I am a poet. I am a philosopher.
I am a fighter. I am a lover.
This is why I choose to be:
a quiet warrior waiting in shadows.

Destroyed Sorrow

In the lonely streets of my life,
I stand alone and empty.
Drained and torn,
I can no longer see.

No longer does that happiness
sit way over there.
All I feel now
is the harshness of reality's air.

I stand alone and crying,
tears of a forgotten life.
Not willing to move
when all around me is strife.

Confusion, lost feelings.
Death to everything that was me.
Desparation, depression.
A forgotten nothing is what I will be.

No longer wandering
I await my fate.
Destroyed beyond belief
no longer can I create...

a hope to hold onto,
a faith in all,
a sense of being,
and a love to call.

Tears flowing
and breathing chopped,
I've accepted my fate
because my heart has stopped.

My soul left empty,
wandering in despair.
It will move without passion
as it does now, so plain and fair.

Autumn

7:40 am.
Cool, crisp autumn morning;
piercing light shining through
the arms of naked trees
and lighting my concrete path.

Sparkling shards of grass
captured by the morning frost.
The sound of
CRUNCH as I walk quickly
on the fallen dried leaves.

The freezing air biting my bare skin...
-my cheeks
-my nose
-my hands.
Bundled in my warm fleece jacket, wool beanie, and wool gloves,
I trek forward and
wait for my bus to come.

Billowing smoke coming from my lips,
a steady fog breathed out into the air
and disappearing into
the season. As I listen,

I hear the sounds of cars hustling and busting
by, the few birds chirping, and the roar
of the city. These sounds penetrate deep
into the mind
despite my blaring headphones
of today's random cd playlist:
...r & b ...hip hop
...rap ...techno
...punk ...islander
...pop ...rock

Standing at the stop,
closed shops promote nothing.
Newspaper stands vent
out images of what happened.
I look up at the sky and see the world slowly
come into play. Clouds shifting
and the sun finally breaks through.

My bus is here.
7:50 am.

A List of Black

Deep.
Silence.
Emptiness.
Darkness.
Cooling shade on a hot day.
Awakening morning drip.
Peaceful tune to the mind's eye.
Death. Decay.
Corrosion. Rot.
Gloomy shadows lurking everywhere.
Mysterious ocean's depth.
A troubled skin tone.
Quieted, dark clouds.
A tinted stretch limo.
Tuft of hair.
Shade of clothing:
my back pack - my coat - my shirt - my shoes
The yang to a yin.
An end to a long day's work.
OFF.

Let Me Be...

Let me be that guy
you see across the street;
the one you smile and wave to
and sees how pretty you are.

I'll be that guy
you see everyday at the same place.
You'll see me with a big smile
and a curious and magnetic personality.

Let me be your friend,
the one you talk to
and hang out with every week
as we let time slip away.

I'll be that friend,
who'll always make you smile and laugh.
You'll see me for me
and love that you found someone so rare.

Let me be your boyfriend,
your confidant, your guy, your friend,
who'll see your inner beauty
and see how wonderful you truly are.

I'll be that boyfriend
you've always dreamed of
who loves and sees
the true nature of your soul.

Let me be your husband.
I'll be that one
who walks you do that aisle
as nothing but happiness awaits us.

I'll be that husband
who whisks you off your feet
and makes all your wishes
come true.

Let me be your fantasy,
a fantasy so real
you feel each touch and breath
as our bodies become one.

I'll be that fantasy
that makes you blush
as you relive each moment
forever in your mind's eye.

Let me be your lover
as you let go all of your pain
and wipe away tears
from your weary eyes.

I'll be that lover
who you will trust and cherish.
You'll see that we are one in the same
as our hearts become one.

Let me be your soulmate,
the one whose life you share
and can't live without
as our souls unite.

I'll be that soulmate
who'll hold you forever
and keep you feeling safe and loved
from now until eternity.

Let me be the one...

Exploding Sphere

A tiny bubble found deep in me.
Tiny in thought,
but huge in body;
weighing down my life
and keeping this soul from healing.

A miniscule ball growing...
...growing with...
confusion - distortions of my mind...
anger - suppressed inner rage...
frustrations - at myself and the world...
sadness - my Great Depression...
hatred for myself.

A small abyss taking shape and form
and sucking me in
back to a world
I thought I had left behind.
Warping my mind,
distorting my body,
and shredding my soul.

A symbiotic black hole
pulling my life away
from a world so serene.

I ran away,
but it found me.
I thought it was gone,
but it was really dormant.

Will it ever go away?

N Ur Eyes

I see you over there
looking at me.
Something about your stare
makes me wonder what do you see?

Such beauty from one
brings happiness to my soul.
What have I done
to deserve such loving control?

She says that I'm handsome
yet I don't understand.
She is perfect beauty and then some.
She's my goddess from a far land.

She says that I'm smart
beyond compare.
She'll always have my heart
with tender, loving care.

I wish
that I could give her the world.
Place it on a dish
with strawberries swirled.

I'll never know
what your eyes may see.
Until then, I'll be like whoa
and hear your plea:

I love you.

Darkness Within

With this pen, I breathe life.
With that life, I create an image.
With my image, I form a structure.

A very structure in which I try to live.
A life...where everything seems dark-
but in that darkness, lays hope.

Hope waiting to live
and light up all the shadows of my insecurities.

Words Worth

I sit. I think. I write.
My pen flowing, creating words:
giving life to letters as well as meaning; purpose.

Words symbolizing the deeper concious.
As simple as "cranberries" or as complex as "delocalize,"
Words contain an essence where human nature can be observed.

Through this pen, the imagination is alive.
Therefore:
I sit. I think. I write.

Hope

Listen my friends
and do not despair.
As long as there's hope,
all is fair.

Peace is mending.
Love is unending.

The world cannot crush
what we hold true.
You love me.
I love you.

The Destruction of My Inner Peace

Eyes glowing with red,
seething with anger, it needs to be fed.
Emotional alarm is tripped
and only my rage is ripped.
Burning my soul,
I am out of control.
-SLASHING and TEARING-
No one is caring
as I fight my way
to stay out of harm's sway.
My mind is beserk
as my body jerks.
Destruction is my only path.
My aura is only of wrath.
Until I cool down,
my soul will drown
in a blaze of fury.

Hmm

Across the waters,
through the glimmer of the city's lights,
I wonder what you're thinking.

Is it simple enough to say that
I love you?
Or does that make it more complex than need be?

...A pensive mind lost in thought.
A world of lights and shadows.
But in reality, hidden truths.


If it were easy,
things would go back to how they were.
If...

Yet, the world doesn't work on "if's."
I wish it did.
Cuz maybe, we'd be together again.
in love and happy.

Lost in a world of thought.

Dreams?

I'll meet you there
in our special place,
our quiet little world
away from it all;

a place I see and hold you
every night
where no one else is there
just you and me, together.

I'll meet you there
and take you away
to worlds only we know
and share things only we share.

I'll meet you there-
-in my dreams.

Did you want to blast off
into deep space
and space-skate
around Saturn's rings?

We can skate in circles,
hold hands,
and giggle
as we feel that thrill.

Look in your heart
and tell me what you feel.
I can see it in your eyes
and the way you act.

Cuz with me baby,
you'll never fall.

Did you want to swim to Atlantis
and dance with the fishes,
swing and sway those hips
towards the beat of the ocean drum?

Your smile reveals it all.
You are yourself and genuine.
You are care free.
You are here with me and that's what counts.

Cuz with me baby,
you'll always be happy.

How about a game?
You be the hunter
and I'll be the prey.
Track me down and gain your prize.

You like the idea, Ms. Vampire?
I can feel your seductive caresses
and your teeth pressing into my neck.
Mmmm.

Cuz with me baby,
you'll always feel sexy.

What if we slowed it down
and cuddled on the beach of a tropical island?
Your lips on mine.
My arms around your body.

Under the moon and stars,
together as one
making love
and uniting our souls.

Cuz with me baby,
you'll always feel loved.

Did you want to dream of our future,
walking down that aisle
as husband and wife
and together forever?

Sharing our lives.
Having children
and being a family.
Being happy.

Cuz with me baby,
you'll always feel special.

We can see each other
and feel each other.
Is this really a dream
or our reality?

Wishing

There she stands at the shore
looking across the waters
for the love she can't fill.

Wishing in all her powers
as tears flow steady from her weary eyes.
Trembling and quietly cursing fate itself,
she reaches out towards the waters.

A soft mist touches her skin
and she goes back to a time she once lived.
She remembers those times with her departed love
and relives the moments,
she holds dear.

Hearing those words,
feeling that touch,
seeing such beauty,
tears continue to fall down her cheek
and onto the softened sand.

Weakened by such thoughts,
she falls to her knees
and snaps back to reality.

As she looks up,
the wispy clouds shift
and the sun slowly fades into the depth of the ocean.

The kaleidoscope of colors reflect off the shimmery water
and shine into her eyes.
For a brief moment,
she sees her love and a quick smile.
And with that moment,
the crash of the wave upon her soft delicate skin takes her love away.

Leaning forward,
her hands sink into the sands
as she quietly sobs
into the cold reality of life.

There she kneels
feeling all alone.
Wishing and wanting
for everything to be the same
as it once was.

Drowning in her own sea of tears,
she feels the presence of someone.

The clouds shift once more
as the sun finally sets.
Alone in the darkness,
a calm wind blows across her face
as if someone is trying to wipe her tears.

Tear by tear,
she calls out the name of her love
out into the darkness.

She hears a whisper.
A quiet whisper telling her choice words:

"Live."
"Happy."
"Love."
"Proud."
"Believe."
"Courage."
"Strength."

She calls out,
"Please...don't go.
Take me away.
Take me with you.
I miss you."

A cool wind touches her cheeks and lips
as she closes her eyes.
And the whisper gives her a final message,
"Patience. Trust. Forgiveness."

With the last of the words,
the whisper fades back into the night.

She stands and looks towards the horizon
wishing for a dream to come true.
With her final thoughts,
she walks back towards her life.

I'll Save You

Huddled in a corner,
I see you with teary eyes
trying to fight away the creeping shadows
and clutching to your last hope.

I'm not going to let you be alone.
I'm not going to let you fight alone.
I refuse.

I do my best to rush in
and fight off those...
-demons
-shadows
-the pain.

I offer my hand and pray.
"Please take my hand
and let me take you away.
You're not alone and
please don't give up."

Tears cascading down your flush cheeks,
you fight on and reach.
The shadows snap and scratch,
but can't take away your strength.
Your hand brushes mine
and that last hope,
your strength,
your love,
your soul...

...suddenly, shines bright.
The shadows disappear.
The demons are gone.
The pain is slowly fading away.

You take my hand and you stand tall.
I wipe your tears and kiss you.
Your arms wrapped around me.
Your safe once more.

I'll Take You

There are times in my life
where I want to take your hand
and lead you to a far off place.
I want to take you to a place
where we can be alone
and look at all aspects of our lives.

I wanna show you
the perfection that I see in you.
I wanna show you
that love only you know and feel.
I wanna show you
why you make me happy.
I just wanna show you.

I'd take you to a meadow
and pick out all the flowers just for you.
Whisper in your ear,
"The petals from these flowers
don't add up to how much I love you."
I'll take you to a stream
and tell you,
"Like an endless river,
my love flows from my heart to yours for eternity."

I just wanna see you smile.
To see those eyes light up
brings happiness to me.
I just want to hold you
and just let my body talk for you.
With you in my arms,
nothing will go wrong.
You're safe.
You're happy.
You're at peace.
You are loved.

Then after I bring you back.
We can live our life together as normal as can be.
But then you'll know,
my love for you is true
and that I will never stop loving you.

A Starry Remembrance

Gazing up at the night's sky,
I see a million sparkling stars.
Burning an image into space,
they remind me...

-they remind me of you.

They remind me of the night
when we laid together
and held each other
under the vast yet calm, clear midnight sky.

Lost in your inner soul,
I remember the shimmer in those beautiful eyes.

-A twinkle of love.
-A sparkle of life.
-A burning passion.

Small specks in a giant's world.
I remember feeling all sense of time stopping
as we lay
and became one.

My heart beating with yours
as I hold you closer.
Slowly leaning in
as I feel your soft, lush lips on mine.

Whether a dream or reality,
it was just to good to be true.
But in fact, it was oh-so real
because I can still feel your lips pressing against mine.

Arms around each other.
Soft caresses.
A long passion-filled kiss.

Your body. My body.
Your mind. My mind.
Your heart. My heart.
Your soul. My soul.
Our love.

As the heavens as our witnesses,
we made love.

I can still feel
your arms wrapped around me
pulling me closer.
The feel of your soft, vanilla body against my hard, caramel body.
The heat of our bodies mixing as our souls unite.

In the heat of passion,
love was made and shared.

A night to remember...
...a lover's commitment.
That was the night
when I would stop searching.

I found love and won't let go.

Little Sparrow

Zipping bullet
streaming past the traffic
of people;
...smooth, streamline
small and dainty
fast, strong,
and cute...
Opened wings
gliding to the safety
of a giant tree.
Perched on a branch,
the musical toy
tweets a beautiful song.
Embracing spring
eating slimy, squirmy noodles
searching for a mate
starting things anew
So small in a giant's world,
yet so full of life and beauty.
Little sparrow, how do you do it?

My Wish

i wish to feel what you feel at night.
that sense of triumph after a day's fight.
i wish to see the world through those eyes;
visions of happiness and everything a surprise.
i wish to be the one with you under those sheets.
i want to be the one that holds you; not a normal feat.
i wish to be the one that feels your lips against mine;
to hold you close, our moment of time, and our souls' shine.

one wish. multiple stars in the sky.
which one should i try?